Soccer! Vongola vs Varia
by iEXIST
Summary: When Vongolas are up against each other at a soccer game you should expect nothing short of death threats, blood, insults, loads of cheating, cussing,  13 rating and the list goes on…


**When Vongolas are up against each other at a soccer game you should expect nothing short of death threats, blood, insults, loads of cheating, cussing, +13 rating and the list goes on…**

**And yes, this is how the Ring Conflict actually took place.**

"I don't know a thing about soccer but I love it, because among the horde of heads, you always find a cute one to cheer for!"

**SOCCER**

**Vongola ****vs. ****Varia**

When the document came –the ninth's flame blazing on its seal- Xanxus signed it with closed eyes, like literally! He was confident that the parchment had been sent by the double of ninth and written according to the Varia's whims and whines. As they say; regret comes later on. And it did, when Squalo's inhumanely loud voice bounced off the mansion's walls.

"VOOOOOOOOOOOOOI!" The silver haired swordsman rammed open the double doors to the lounge. "BOSS! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? ARE YOU LOOSING YOUR MIND ALREADY!" He continued talking/screaming as he crossed the room to Xanxus's '_throne'_.

"Squalo's booking a room for himself in hell ~ushishishi" The Varia genius mumbled to himself as he started counting the veins popping out on the swordsman's forehead.

Xanxus didn't bother turning around –it required too much effort, effort he wasn't willing to user for Squalo.

"Uh-huh? What's this?… Oh fantastic! But boss, when did you change your mind about killing the Japanese children? Hm?" Lussuria's absolutely unattractive voice cooed.

"Don't question the boss, idiot!" Levi barked before anyone could say a thing. "If the boss wants to win the rings through a soccer game, so be i-"

Before an eyes could even be blinked both men lay like rubble beside the wall as Xanxus snatched the document Squalo was holding. He read it once, saw his signature of acceptance, then re-read the document.

It is said that the force from Xanxus's 'scream of rage' brought down the Varia mansion that night. Such fearsome strength is possessed by the independent assassination squad of Varia. Of course the familiga purchased a new residence for the assassins later on. I mean come on! How long does it take for you to buy a new better and nicer head quarter for someone when you have the authority, a telephone in your hand and a freshly sharpened blade being held at your throat?

The next day, a pissed Varia popped in front of Sawada Tsunayoshi and his buds along with the Cervello women who showed the document to the baffled young Sawada, his companions and his father who tried to contain his laughter. Now, whether they wanted it or not, it had become official.

It would be boss candidate Sawada Tsunayoshi and his guardians against boss candidate Xanxus and his guardians, at a game of soccer in the Namimori High soccer field. The winning team walks away with the rings, a splendid pure gold trophy, not forget to mention a picture in the 'Vongola daily' and exclusive interviews whilst the loosing team must leave the field in a doom and gloom parade of shame.

And thus began extreme training on the Japanese side while the Varia chose to snooze the days away.

"I might teach you lot the game if you transfer half your pay to my account" The greedy infant, namely Mermon, gently spoke as he floated in the air.

"The prince does not need any help. He knows everything! They don't call me a genius for nothing ~ushishishi" Belphegor grinned as he flattened the air out of another ball with the help of _his majesty's truly -_knives_._

"We Italians are naturals at soccer! This should be easy, right boss?" Levi laughed waiting for his boss's approval. As if it would ever come.

"Please hun~ listen to what I'm saying!" Lussuria clapped his hands but no one payed heed to him. "Rules are really important and I just down loaded the list…"

"We're not going to need that idiot" When Xanxus stopped speaking, every member in the room had a maniac smirk plastered on his face.

It appears they all caught onto the boss's hidden message.

Game day was hectic then ever. Reborn, Haru and Kyoko had invited all of Namimori to watch the game. Even though there were good intentions behind their deed (minus Reborn)-such as to cheer on the Japanese side- Tsuna could not help but feel as if they all came to get a good laugh out of him. Thus, he was anxious, which kind of rhymed with Xanxus, WHICH made him even more worried. And the absence of his cloud and mist guardians only piled up his worries.

"We call forth team captain Sawada and team Tsuna onto the field" The Cervello woman's voice echoed out the speakers and after a loud 'gulp' a trembling Tsuna stepped onto the battle field followed by his guardians, all in their matching uniforms with 'Vongola' written across the front. Sheers broke out from every spectator and Hayato's and Takeshi's fans particularly made their presence obvious.

"We call forth team captain Xanxus and team Varia onto the field" The second Cervello, also in a referee uniform, announced. The assassination squad made its appearance and a deathly silence filled the audience as all eyes took in the foreigners.

The front was led by Squalo who stomped his way to the field. The silver haired assassin was followed by Gola Mosca who shook the earth on every step (which explains why we face aftershocks from what we suppose are earthquakes but are actually Mosca's falling down the steps) and carried the boss's chair, on which sat their bored boss. Levi being Levi butts in everything that involves his boss so he a clinged onto a foot of Xanxus's chair and carried it, which was absolutely unnecessary. Behind them Lussuria came in a strange combination of wiggling and walking and blowing kisses – that every male-onlooker jumped away from. Belphegor followed the seniors, twirling a knife on his forefinger and often pretending to throw it at the audience, who emitted non-disappointing shrieks of terror. The team was completed with Mermon floating behind them and muttering curses to free entertainment.

When both teams stood facing each other, the audience directed 'boos' at the Varia. Tsuna withered under Xanxus' glare and prayed that the Cervello women would hurry it up with the checking of the Vongola's rings autnenticy. Then he noticed the dark haired girl standing at the end of his line. She passed him a smile, her trident catching light at the moment.

"I'm your mist guardian, Chrome Dokuro"

And true horrors crept up his spine when he felt the air turn cold and become dense, a feeling that even silenced the audience to death.

"So many herbivores … herding …" Tsuna turned around just in time to see the chairman of the Discipline Committee whip out his tonfas. "I'll bite all of you to death!" That was all it took for the spectators to start flailing their arms and run around in terror in every direction just to avoid the wrath of Hibari Kyoya. However, it was not enough for Hibari. The blood thirsty prefect charged at the –now even more- panicking crowd with murder screaming in his eyes.

"The guardian of cloud will return from his commitments soon, please start" Reborn informed and Tsuna clutched his shirt under which his frail heart beat furiously. _Commitments!_

Positions were set, the Cervellos blew the whistle and Mosca delivered the first kick. The ball ripped the air and made hard contact with Tsuna's head, rendering him useless. As Gokudera fretted over his unconscious boss, Bel walked away with the ball, literally, he **walked** the ball.

"I'll take that!" Yamamoto swiftly took it away and proceeded towards the opposite goal pot where Xanxus sat on his chair as goalie.

A fraction of the audience –Dino, Colonello, Reborn, Shamal, Ken and Chikasu- watched the scene from inside a bomb proof glass box. They cheered whilst also keeping an eye on Hibari, who was currently busy beating the crap out of a group of people a mile away. The stench from Ken also kept them on alert.

"I'll give it an EXTREME kick!" Ryohei yelled enthusiastically and Yamamoto passed him the ball. The older male screamed "EXTREEEEEEEEEME!" The ball soared past the defenders, hit the goal post and flew out the field…

"WHAT WAS THAT GRASS-HEAD!"

"Hmm … too much extreme" Ryohei mumbled and the remains of the audience cursed whilst Gokudera went on a temper tauntrum.

"HAHAHA! Stupi-dera is useless and un-cool!" The infant guardian of lightening laughed as he licked his lollipop and swayed on the spot where he sat in the middle of the field.

"You're one to talk, stupid-cow" The green eyed Italian retorted.

Levi served the corner and Squalo kicked it far out into the Vongola side of the field where Lussuria missed it but since no one was around, he managed to get it in his control. After all, only three players from the other side were actually playing – namely; Gokudera, Yamamoto, Sasagawa- while Tsuna lay half dead, Lambo ate, Hibari was missing and Chrome stood dazed at the goalie's spot.

"Come on guys! Get up Tsuna! You can do this!" Dino cheered deaf ears. Lussuria ran past the surviving spectators but suddenly stopped in his tracks. He back-stepped and took a second good look at the blond Italian. The Varia sun guardian wiggled in his spot and cooed.

"AH! Oh! Hey huns~ are you single?"

Dino flinched. He decided to ignore the man. The Chiavarone boss stepped to a side to get a view of the game but Lussuria blocked it again. "Do you mind?"

"Oh, not really ~lovely" Lussuria blew a kiss and Dino's eye twitched.

"I'm not interested, **at all**"

"But I'll take you back home with me anyway"

The Bucking Bronco Dino had never felt as grateful for anything in his life as he felt for that bomb proof glass at the moment.

"SUCKER!" Hayato effortlessly turned himself into center target.

"VOOOOOOOOOI! LUSS! GET YOUR USELESS ASS BACK IN THE GAME!" But Lussuria couldn't care less about the game. He had found a new toy he wanted. "Useless scum!" Squalo somehow managed to kick the ball from Gokudera and it went into Mermon's control. The illusionist had the ball float behind him as he rapidly approached the opponent's goal where mist had begun to gather.

As shouts of "Cheating!" "Unfair!" and "EXTREMELY unexpected!" filled the eardrums, another voice also joined them "kufufufu"

Just as Mermon sent the ball soaring into the goal, it was stopped mid-way by a trident as it painfully pierced through it. When the mist cleared, many people suffered from shock. Tsuna, who had finally regained consciousness, took one accidental look at his goal keeper and fainted again.

"What's Rokudo Mukuro doing here!" Gokudera said alarmed and took out his bombs.

"I think he's on our side" Yamamoto answered. Both teens winced as Mukuro began torturing the other illusionist. The Cervellos didn't give a damn. They blew the whistle and tossed in another ball. It was kicked by Mosca and barely missed Hibari's head, whom had just entered the field.

"I'll bite you to death!" Hibari threatened and proceeded to attack the Varia's cloud guardian.

In the remaining audience Ken and Chikasu were making a fuss.

"Let us out! We want to go to Mukuro-sama!"

"Mukuro-sama!"

"Don't you dare open this thing!" Dino warned, his complete mind on what would happen if Lussuria –God forbid- somehow got in.

"Now we're on even grounds" Gokudera grinned. "There's four of us and only four of them playing. But when Tenth gets up we'll have the greatest advantage of all!"

"USELESS DOGS!" Squalo ran ahead with the ball. "I'll make victory myself!" He hadn't run more than three steps and Yamamoto had taken away the ball, giving him an apologetic laugh. The enraged shark decided to colour a section of the grass with the boy's blood and prepared himself for murder. Nut the teen saw it coming and blocked the older swordsman with his own sword –which he had seemingly been carrying all along.

The ball lay innocently a little distance ahead.

"Can't anyone do anything right?" Gokudera said an exasperated tone as he threw back his head and arms at Belphegor's actions. The prince had picked up the ball and started strolling towards Mukuro, who also stood waiting with a mad man's smile.

"STOP!" A Cervello blew the whistle. The other stepped forward and produced a red card. "You have been excluded from the game!"

Bel's grin fell upside down. "No one excludes the prince from anything. Out of my way"

"You know the rules storm guardian. You can not touch a ball-" The woman fell down and Bel pulled out his knives, adding his signature laugh to the scene.

"For intentional harm to the referee, you have been disqualified!" The second Cervello said. Bel saw no point in arguing, he was getting bored anyway. The teen stabbed the ball and turned to leave the field.

"Look! Look! That loser's wearing a tiara! What a girly-girl!" Lambo pointed and fell back laughing.

Bel stopped.

Three minutes later …

"You have been banned from entering any soccer game for the rest of your life for intentional harm to others, attempted murder, disobedience of rules and using inappropriate words and hand signs on children"

Bel snorted. Like he was ever going to play a game as stupid as this ever again. He watched the ambulance take away the child, the one that his storm counterpart referred to as 'stupid-cow', how appropriate and sensible.

"I'm bored" Mukuro stated then faked a yawn to emphasize his point. "I'm going to Xin's for some _superb _ramen"

"WAIT!" Gokudera called. "What about your post?" Mukuro waved his hand dismissively.

"It has nothing to do with me" He continued walking out the field. "I see that young Vongola is out of it as well, so I have no business with any of you anymore"

"Mukuro-sama!" His followers called desperately, all the while banging the glass. Ken even went changing his physical features through his channel teeth in an attempt to bust the glass, but Dino's prayers and its quality kept it intact.

Levi looked at the Varia boss who was half sleeping. "Boss … I'll make you proud of me … I'll bring utmost respect and honour to you! Please praise me!"

"Kick the ball already!" Some random voice screamed from somewhere.

Levi put all his heart and might into the leg he raised and he used it to deliver a super kick! –which unfortunately missed the ball and he landed on his butt instead.

Ryohei eased away with the ball and with a cry of "EXTREME" tried to make a goal but missed and the ball slightly brushed against Xanxus' pants. The man stood up and marched towards the boxer.

"Look what you did now turf-top!"

"Shut up octopus-head!"

Tsuna regained his senses again. The brunette rubbed his eyes and tried to see how much he'd missed. Okay, so, Hibari was fighting Levi. Gokudera and Ryohei were running for their lives –away from Xanxus. Squalo and Yamamoto were crossing swords. Lussuria was sticking to the Mafioso spectators bomb proof glass box.

"Tenth! Quickly! Make a goal!" Gokudera's voice rang in his ears.

"W-Wha-?"

"Hurry useless Tsuna!" Reborn added.

The honey eyed boy quickly got up and tried to find the ball. It sat quietly beside Xanxus' chair. Tsuna gulped. After a final look at Xanxus over his shoulder he made a mad dash –which looked like a drowning cat trying to fly and a speed that was put to shame by turtles- towards the goal, kicked the ball, missed, kicked again and finally scored!

Local/Vongola: 1

Foreign/Varia: 0

The first half ended. The second half could not be conducted due to many reasons and Team Vongola was declared winner.

Finally the Ring Conflict had come to an end.

Bianchi came onto the field. "Did I miss anything?"

…

The External Adviser Team sat around a table, all grinning at each other –except Lal Mirch. "Sawada won!"

"I didn't think Xanxus would be stupid enough to sign a document without reading it"

"I'm glad he didn't, or else Sawada and his guardians would have been doomed in one-on-one combat battles"

"We should mess with Vongola documents more often"

"I heard the Vongola were sending a cruise ship to pick up the Varia. There are papers that need to signed with approval"

"… What if they send them … say … paddle boats?"

-x-X-**Epilogue**-X-x-

Dino smiled a she watched the scenes quickly pass by the car window. 'Thank God everything's over'. A soccer ball lay between his feet, the very ball that Tsuna had won with. While every guardian had signed it, Lambo had stuck candy to it and Mukuro deflated it with his trident.

His cell suddenly rang.

"Cavallone here"

"Hey huuuuuuun~ Did yo-"

Dino opened the window and tossed out the cell phone, making sure to have it broken to smithereens.

**End**

**Beware of the sequel! Vongola vs. Arcobaleno!**


End file.
